I Found Myself On The Dance Floor
I remember the giddy feelings like they were yesterday. Sitting cross legged on the couch staring into the eyes of this boy I had just met, sharing our dreams. Dreams that were vivid, colourful and uncannily aligned with one another’s - and so very far from our current realities.
He was travelling the country in his van with his skateboard, incense and a minimal amount of ‘things’. And me, recently separated from my husband at 24 years old, living with my best friend and navigating very unfamiliar territory.
And yet, here we were. Looking at one another like we had been staring into each other’s eyes our entire life. We shared stories, ideas and visions of a life were we would… help people. He even had drawings, full journal pages and 3D sketches on his laptop, all vividly describing this long term, heart led vision of creating a space for people to heal.
Three days earlier, we had never met. But, I have no doubt that there were cosmic strings weaving our dreams together, orchestrating our coming together; creating the perfect conditions for two souls to meet. In him, I would find a man whose vision, passion and unwavering connection to source would fuel the following 8 years of my life.
In each other we found the one that would hold each other accountable to bring those dreams into the light – into our reality.
8 Years Later
I am standing with sweaty palms and my heart beating in my chest, so loud I am frightened the 40 people standing in front of me can hear it through the microphone.
Many years prior Jason created and launched The Meditation House - being in this space, in front of these people had become his home. But, this was the first time since those tiny seeds were planted all those years ago that the dream of us coming together came into fruition. We had gathered 40 beautiful people together under the Super Blue Blood Moon for our first ever event, together – Coming Home. That night I led their open and willing hearts through a 20 minute embodiment practice, a journey from their head to their body. There were tears, sweat, joy and a whole lot of letting.shit.go!
Here is the thing though, I don’t think I could have done that even one day prior.
I was not ready.
I have always loved the quote – “trust the timing of your life” – but I am not sure that I truly ever really did, trust it, even though throughout my life I have seen evidence of this time and time again. Secretly I think I had hoped that the more I did, the more likely I would receive the fruits of my labour.
But, what I have learnt is whilst we are in the arena experiencing life, we create the perfect conditions for life to unfold in its own divine time.
Jason and I have had many false starts at this collaboration. Togetherness in business and in life is some tricky terrain. It requires both parties to be open, ready and unencumbered; it also requires a willingness and readiness for each party to acknowledge and step into their own individual and unique power.
Up until a few weeks before this event, I wasn’t there. I was coming through the end of the most transitional stage of my life to date.
I was 9 months postpartum; celebrating 9 months in the womb and 9 months out – the full, beautiful circle.
I celebrated this milestone by buying a single ticket to Susana Frioni’s ‘Sacred Dance Party’. What she describes as a transformative body-soul dance experience for women to come together and remember how to access and express their most powerful, radiant and liberated self.
It felt terrifying and liberating all in the same breath; but something inside of me was begging me to go. So, I donned my favourite flowy dress, curled my hair and popped a gold foil tattoo on my arm for good measure.
From the moment I walked into the room, I felt at ease. I felt like the transformation had already begun to sink its way into my bones. After some intention setting and connecting with the other women in the group – the music began. So loud that I felt the hairs on my arms stand on end, and my body catapulted into that very moment. It was hard to ignore the softening it instantly created within every part of my being – the space it blew wide open.
And, then we danced….for 90 non-stop minutes. Through seven beautifully curated phrases.
A journey of deep intimacy, connection and presence that I don’t believe I have ever felt before. With each stage dropping deeper in the space and deeper into a self free of limits, stories and heavy identities.
I will never forget the tenderness of meeting that person on the dance floor, the one that came out from behind her mask.
Within those 90 sweaty minutes I felt the life force re-entering my tired being.
The creative energy that spiralled inward and awoke and summoned my highest self forward.
The energy that pulsed through my body as it gently restored those parts of me that birthed my baby, flowed milk through my breasts and nourished my little boy above all else for the past 9 months.
Within those tender moments with just me, my breath and the music beating through my body– I danced myself back to life.
Back into my body, my heart and my power. In finding my way back here I have realised there is nothing I am in need. The disconnection, the isolation and the sense that I am not enough I feel is because I had lost my way home. I had become separate from my heart and body.
I am forever grateful to Susana for creating the space for me to meet that person again, for in doing so I was able to be that person for those 40 beautiful people that trusted me with their heart.
Big, heart baring love